


Fucked

by babyvagabond



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25049290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyvagabond/pseuds/babyvagabond
Summary: Michael shows up at Ryan’s door in the middle of the night, barefoot and crying.
Relationships: Michael Jones/Original Male Character(s), Ryan Haywood/Michael Jones
Kudos: 30





	Fucked

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this a while ago & wanted to do more w it but i’m just obviously not going to write anymore since its been almost a year since i wrote it

The kiss Michael presses to his lips is salty and wet from tears, but Ryan can feel the desperation behind the hard press of chapped lips, so he lets Michael kiss him, but he doesn’t kiss back. He’d let Michael do anything, really, when he’s like this, but he feels like he can’t reward this behavior, either. 

Michael pushes desperate hands up under Ryan’s shirt and uneven, bitten nails dig uncomfortably into Ryan’s skin. Still, Ryan doesn’t react, letting Michael get it all out. It isn’t until Michael’s hands fall to his belt, shaking fingers tugging on leather, that Ryan feels like it’s time to put a stop to this.

“Michael,” Ryan says against Michael’s lips, and the shorter man pulls back to look down at what he’s doing, cursing under his breath as he fumbles, again, with Ryan’s belt. “Michael,” Ryan repeats, hands finally coming up to grab Michael. Michael gasps softly, like he’s already feeling Ryan’s hands on his body, but instead Ryan grabs Michael’s wrists to stop him. 

Michael frowns and tries to wrench his hands out of Ryan’s grasp, but Ryan tightens his grip and says, “Michael, stop.” 

Michael’s head whips up and he defiantly stares Ryan in the eyes, brows furrowed with anger. Something in the way Ryan stares back must resonate with Michael, though, because after a few moments he drops his head and stills, arms going limp in Ryan’s grasp, and he leans into his friend, forehead pressed to Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan keeps his hold on Michael’s wrists for a few more moments, until he hears Michael gasp for breath and he knows Michael is crying again. Ryan drops Michael’s hands and they fall uselessly to Michael’s sides as Ryan wraps his arms around Michael’s shoulders in a tight hug, holding him against his chest. 

There’s a beat of silence that seems to drag on for hours, where nothing happens between the two of them, until it’s broken by a defeated sob from Michael, whose hands come up to grasp desperately at the back of Ryan’s shirt.

“I know,” Ryan whispers, shifting his weight back and forth, rocking them slowly and soothingly. “I know,” he repeats.

“Everything’s fucked,” Michael croaks out, the first words he’s said since he showed up at Ryan’s door. Ryan isn’t sure what’s happening or what he means, but clearly Michael needs something right now and Ryan is willing to give him whatever it is. 

Ryan isn’t sure how to soothe him, since he doesn’t know how or why everything is, as Michael said, fucked. He can’t promise everything will be okay, and he knows Michael well enough to know empty words like that won’t help. Instead, he settles for a soft, “I’m here,” and a kiss pressed into Michael’s hair. 

“I didn’t know where else to go,” Michael admits, sniffling loudly. He rubs his face against Ryan’s sleeve, and Ryan can only imagine the snot stain that will be left, but shirts can be washed, and this is far more important than the preservation of a piece of cloth. 

“I’m here,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll always be here.” 

Michael nods in response and tightens his grip on Ryan’s shirt. Ryan is pretty confident Michael isn’t in a rush to spill every detail of his weakest moments to Ryan, but he also knows from experience that sometimes talking things through can help more than you’d expect. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, tentatively. 

To his surprise, Michael nods again and detangles himself from Ryan’s arms. He puts a respectful distance between them with a big step back, and wipes his nose with the back of his hand. “Y-yeah,” he says, “I think I should.” 

Ryan copies Michael’s nod and puts a comforting hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Let’s go sit down?” He phrases it like a question, but he’s already guiding Michael to the couch in his living room. 

As Michael shuffles after him, Ryan notices for the first time that Michael is barefoot, and he wonders how Michael got here. Had he driven himself? Had he ridden the bus? Neither option sounded pleasant to do barefoot, and Ryan realizes Michael must’ve left his house in a hurry if he hadn’t even had time to slip his feet into a pair of sneakers. Ryan’s stomach drops to his toes and a feeling of dread fills the gap it left behind.

Ryan sits down on the couch and Michael sits beside him, folding his legs beneath himself. Their knees touch, but nothing else. Ryan watches Michael fiddle with the ring on his finger for a long moment, letting Michael gather his thoughts. However, after what must’ve been several minutes, Ryan figures Michael must need a little encouragement. He leans over and takes Michael’s hand, folding it between both of his. Michael looks up at Ryan and smiles, but when Ryan smiles back, the smile falls from Michael’s face and he looks away again. It’s quiet for a long time again, and just when Ryan is about to finally say something, Michael speaks.

“Nate cheated on me.”

“Shit,” Ryan whispers in response.

Michael lets out a humorless laugh and says, “Yeah.” 

“Wha… I mean, what happened?” Ryan tries to catch Michael’s eye, but Michael won’t look at him. 

“I don’t know,” Michael admits. “I thought everything was- everything seemed fine. But tonight he wouldn’t- and then he told me… And the thing is, I was totally ready to forgive him!” Michael laughs again and pulls his hand away from Ryan, cradling his face in both of his hands so he can laugh bitterly into his palms. 

“Yeah…?” Ryan prompts, resting a hand on Michael’s knee. He hopes its a reassuring touch and that he doesn’t trigger whatever it was in Michael that had him pawing at Ryan’s crotch earlier.

“Yeah! I mean, people make mistakes, right?” Michael drops his hands to his lap and meets Ryan’s eyes. Michael’s eyes are red and puffy and tears drip off his chin. 

“Well,” Ryan starts, looking down at Michael’s hands, at the silver band on his left ring finger.

“I know,” Michael says; he must’ve followed Ryan’s gaze. That, or he reads minds. “It’s a really shitty mistake to make, but we’ve never had problems like this before. I thought we could just, like, go to therapy or something, you know? We were talking about having kids literally two days ago, it can’t be-“ Michael cuts himself off suddenly, and Ryan watches him clench his hands into fists. He looks up to Michael’s face and sees his eyes squeezed shut, his jaw squared and his lips trembling. 

Ryan squeezes Michael’s knee, and after a moment Michael lets out a breath and relaxes his hands again. “Anyways,” he continues, quieter now, “before I could get a word in, Nate said he wanted a divorce. He said-“ Michael cuts off again and bites his lip. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it if it hurts too much,” Ryan reassures. 

Michael nods his acknowledgement but there’s no other change for a long time. Eventually, he says, “He said he realized he doesn’t love me the way he thought he did.” 

“Fuck,” Ryan huffs out, slumping back against the couch. Everything  _ was  _ fucked. 

“I didn’t- I just left,” Michael whispers. “He said that and I just turned and left. I left my keys so I just started walking, and when I looked up, I was here.” Michael pauses again, and Ryan watches him fiddle with a loose string on his jeans. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, or the other stuff either, I just… Wanted to feel something.”

“I understand. It’s okay.” Ryan had been divorced once, too. It’d been his high school sweetheart, married as soon as they turned eighteen. It fell apart only a few months later, when the stresses of college life proved they weren’t the right people for each other. They’d fought every waking moment for all of freshman year, and when things finally ended for good, Ryan had felt a weight he hadn’t known he was carrying lifted from his shoulders. His ex-wife wasn’t someone he talked about often- in fact, Michael probably wouldn’t even know. It wasn’t exactly something you brought up in a comedy video; unless you were Geoff, of course. 

“I… used to be married,” Ryan says slowly. He doesn’t look to see Michael’s reaction, but he can hear fabric shifting and knows Michael must’ve turned towards him. 

“What happened?” Michael asks, hands resting on Ryan’s thigh when he leans in closer. 

“It wasn’t like with you and Nate,” Ryan starts. He knows his story won’t bring Michael any comfort- Michael had done everything the right way, and Ryan hadn’t. Ryan’s entire relationship with his ex-wife had been shorter than Michael and Nate’s engagement. “We were just dumb kids. We got married on my eighteenth birthday and divorced after freshman year of college. We… fought a lot. She wanted me to get a serious degree but I was interested in theater.”

“She? You were married to a girl?” Michael asks loudly. For the first time all night, he sounds like himself, and it makes Ryan smile. Ryan nods, and Michael groans in response, falling back against the arm of the couch, his feet pushing into Ryan’s lap. “I kissed a straight guy,” Michael groans. 

“I never said I was straight,” Ryan chuckles, fingers resting lightly on Michael’s ankles. 

“Bisexual?” Michael asks, toes curling at Ryan’s touch. Ryan hums in agreement and looks down at Michael’s feet, frowning when he notices how worn they seem.

“You said you walked here?” He asks, looking up at Michael.

“Yeah,” Michael shrugs. “I didn’t really mean to. I was just walking around and came here without thinking about it.”

Ryan nods and looks down at Michael’s feet again, examining his worn toes with mild interest as he thinks. 

“You want, like, a bath?” Ryan asks suddenly, meeting Michael’s surprised gaze.

“A bath?” Michael repeats. 

“Yeah, to relax or whatever. It’s a long way to walk barefoot, you must be in some pain,” Ryan explains. 

“Uh, I mean, yeah, I’m sore, but I don’t… I don’t want to be alone?” It sounds like a question, and Ryan can assume from experience that it’s nerves. 

“Okay,” Ryan easily agrees. “You don’t have to be. I’m here.” 

“Honestly, I just wanna go to sleep,” Michael sighs, curling his hands in his lap and fiddling with his ring again. 

“Do you want me to lay with you?” Ryan asks, watching Michael’s hands. He’s afraid to look at Michael and see his reaction to such a bold question. 

“Yeah, I’d really appreciate that,” Michael responds without pause. His fingers don’t pause, either, just keep spinning his ring around and around his finger. Ryan sighs in relief. 

Pushing Michael’s feet off his lap, Ryan stands and offers a hand to Michael. Michael’s eyes flick between the offered hand and Ryan’s face for a moment before he reaches out and takes Ryan’s hand, using the leverage of Ryan’s steady arm to pull himself up and off the couch. 

Ryan is surprised when neither of them let go, and instead their fingers intertwine. He genuinely can’t tell which of them pushed this from helping a friend up to holding hands, and telling from the look Michael gives him, Michael can’t tell either.

Either way, it’s nice. 


End file.
